Yes that's right. I'm sick for the third time this month. Except this time it's much more horrible than anything. I've got...
THE STOMACH FLUUUU. I can barely move without heaving.
I almost puked twice today. Out of sheer will power alone have I kept my innards. I hate puking. It's the worst experience I've ever gone through. Like when I got sick at my dad's house and puked on his bed 5 times.
Then on his bathroom carpet a little. It was everywhere. It came out of my nose and everything. That was when I was 7. I'm 15 now and just this year have I been able to start eating pork chops again. Now I fear BBQ chicken out of a package. IT STARTED EVERYTHING! DX To make this month/week worse everyone is mad at me. My best friend Lex is mad at me because I'm not allowed to give/lend/ WHATEVER any item I spawn on my GM chara to ANY ONE for ANY reason. She said she wasn't mad but she kept making a big deal about how much damage had been done by me following the guidelines I've been given to follow. My sister is mad at me because I don't like talking to people who come home and bitch at me, and make me cry. Then they go and pretend to apologize with the irate tone of, " I really don't want to do this". School starts in a week. I have to walk over to that god forsaken building tomorrow blowing chunks to sign up for school. and I'm almost certain my mom has to be there with me. but no. Send me over there to waste time. I'll be thanking you when my guts feel as though they want to fall right out. I'm very unhappy. I'm supposed to be watching over CatalystRO for Oka but I can't. why? Because my computer, Seiji, has decided that RO is the anti-christ and makes it lag. I don't know what's wrong. I probably will never know. All I can do is hope for a shiny new tower. But of course it'll never happen. My wishing is futile. I'll never get the markers I want either. nooope. Why? Well for one thing people like to forget about what I want. Another thing whenever I'm at my dad's my friends are there. ALWAYS. when will I be able to have a peaceful weekend? My dad is the only person who can afford them, and I never have the god damn time to ask him for the fucking markers. And whenever we do have time for anything he's always busy. Even though he's sitting in the den watching TV. And on top of all that,
has gone missing again. I'm starting to wonder why I still wait for her to sign on. It happens once in a blue moon. Reb too has gone missing. University keeps him rather busy...And I can't even talk to him while he's NOT in the army. :iconRaikouno-Tennin: is also missing. I miss him terribly...He's always there for me when he CAN be there. but I don't know what's happened to him. I'm horribly depressed and have fallen back into hating myself. And there's no one there to talk to. All I can do is fester...I want to cry but I'd end up puking. I feel so horrible right now, and there doesn't appear to be any relief in the near future. Back to asshole teachers, struggling through the school day, getting up at fucking 6 AM,coming home to being bossed around, feeling horrible all the time because my world screams about how pathetic and useless I am, wondering why my sister is loved so much more than me...Whenever I cry it's always, " why are you doing this?!" " go to bed" or even just turning the light off and walking away. When Kailey cries my mother goes straight away and hugs her, " oh it's ok". Where's my love? even today I tried to talk to my mom about why I sat outside for 2 hours crying, and she got irritated at me after awhile. I finally felt like I was getting some decent comforting and then the voice came along. The voice of pure irritation. That's the only voice I ever hear. Am I really that horrible? I didn't know I was supposed to clean the whole damn house by myself. No one asked or told me to, so I just relaxed. I hate myself. All I do is make everyone around me angry. I'm just a waste of space anymore.
moop
Tired
Suffering
Neutral
Hopeless
